Changes
by Chizuru
Summary: [Xenosaga] Death was all he ever wished for, but now there's someone keeping him back.. Zig


All I ever wanted was for death to claim me. But now that you're in my life, you've ruined my plans; you've messed up my rhythm. Death will no longer have the chance to claim me like I had wished, not when you're the center of my existence.  
  
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Changes  
  
Written on 1-25-04 By: Chizuru  
  
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"Ziggy, what's your dream?"  
  
He stopped, slowly turning towards the curious pink headed realian. "What?"  
  
She shrugged, her tiny shoulders shrinking into her tiny frame, "You heard me, Ziggy."  
  
Ziggurat 8 and MOMO sat quietly in the cabin that she and Shion shared. It was a relaxing day, so the two decided to spend some quiet time together, away from all the action that was going on in the world.  
  
"Well," he paused, how was he to tell her that all he ever wanted after he was resurrected unwillingly was to return to death? That he no longer wanted to face the world, and that all he wants is to be with his son. in the other world.  
  
"Well?" MOMO cocked her head sideways, a bit of frustration mixed in with her confused expression. He tried to start, but failed, and tried, and failed again. "Ziggy, just spit it out. I won't laugh at you."  
  
'I'd rather you laugh,' he thought quietly to himself.  
  
"Well, MOMO," another hesitant pause, "why don't you go first, give me some time to think."  
  
She smiled and shook her head, pink strands of hair caressing her slightly flushed cheeks as she did so. "My dream is to be with Daddy again."  
  
MOMO must have seen the confused expression on her bodyguard's face, because she went on, "He's, well, not here anymore, but. I hope that I would have the chance to meet him again."  
  
"Ah," Ziggy said evenly, "so this is a wish, not a dream."  
  
Again, MOMO shrugged, "Either one, I guess."  
  
Her lips stretched into a shy, tiny smile.  
  
And somehow, it made him feel. good.  
  
"What are you waiting for, Ziggy?" She placed a gentle hand upon his arm, "It's your turn."  
  
"I don't think I have a wish, or a dream." He lied.  
  
"You can't do this, Ziggy." She trailed off, giggling behind her two small hands. "You're cheating."  
  
"Well, what I want the most right now, is to complete my mission." He said, absentmindedly. After all, by completing his "mission," he will be rewarded with his wish.  
  
His blue eyes refocused on the little girl's face. There was something there that he didn't like, something that he dreaded for: a look of sadness, infinite sadness. It pained his heart to see that. Noticing that his attention was now on her, she quickly turned away.  
  
"I'm sorry, MOMO, did I say something."  
  
"No, no. I just thought," The realian turned back to face the cyborg, "oh, it's really nothing. It's nothing to worry about."  
  
He wouldn't take that. Of course, he wouldn't. He pinched her nose softly with his human hand, "You're cheating." He copied her, as if to mock her.  
  
She smiled again, but this time it was still filled with the sadness that he hated to see on her face. Although she was just another mission to be accomplished, he had the unfamiliar urge to protect her from everything, not just the physical assaults that might harm her, but everything that would bring her down.  
  
She took that hand, the hand that still had some human warmth to it. "Please tell me the truth, Ziggy."  
  
"Always."  
  
"Am-am I just. I can't, Ziggy." Her hold on his hand loosened.  
  
"Please?" He grasped her hand tightly, not willing to let go.  
  
"Am I just a mission? Nothing more?"  
  
His sapphire eyes widened in realization. Ziggurat extended an arm across her shoulder and held her tightly against him. He slowly sank into thought.  
  
He used to be able to just "die," to just vanish from this world.  
Because no one would know, no one would care.  
  
But now that he had formed this bond with the girl sitting next to him, he wasn't so sure if he's capable of just abandoning her alone here in this world. Of course, there will always be people here to help, protect, and support her, but for some reason, he wanted to be a part of her life. He wanted to be there for her when she needed someone to lean on. He wanted to see her grow. He wanted to . live for her.  
  
"That's not what I meant, MOMO. My mission is to take you to your mother, safe and sound. I know that you want to meet your mother, right?"  
  
"Does that mean you're not leaving me?"  
  
He shook his head. "I'll always be here, as long as you need me."  
  
A true, genuine smile pulled across her thin lips, "Thank you, Ziggy." 


End file.
